one year!!!!!!

Wow, time sure flies when you’re having fun (well most of the time!) for sure. So hard to believe one year has gone by already! Let me start by saying Sarah has blossomed into a happy, silly and smart eleven year old over the past twelve months. The majority of her progress and adjustment has really come in the past 4-5 months. I think the trust factor just took longer for her since she was older and had such a tough first ten years. . We really had to earn her trust with our patience (extra amounts at times), consistent parenting ( we are tired!) and plain old love…BUT I am happy to report I really see her trust and grow in our family.
Sarah and Manon have settled into their roles as sisters and really seem to love each other. I will be honest and say it has taken a long time for Sarah to STOP saying “not fair”, where’s mine” and get mad at just about anything Manon did. That being said, they now LOVE to play together, enjoy being sisters and are general partners in crime! Manon tells me on a regular basis how happy she is to have Sarah as a sister. Sarah has voiced how unfair it was that Manon came home first (Sarah was still with her China family when we were in China adopting Manon), Ron and Manon did not travel to China to get her (something we wish we did differently now but we did what we thought was best for all at the time…) and will say we love Manon more (not more, just longer..). Manon has been SUPER about sharing just about anything with Sarah including us. She has had and continues to have lots of patience with Sarah but they do get on each other’s nerves a bit still (a sign they really are sisters!). They still share a room and this has worked well for them both. Sarah has kept Manon on the straight and narrow when it comes to playing games together. Manon likes to play “the rules according to Manon” and Sarah has put an end to that for us! This is something Manon has done since day one and it took a sibling to fix it because did I mentionmthat Sarah does NOT LIKE anything to not be fair…
Sarah really loves seeing her brothers! Both girls get super excited when Nick, Alex or Nate comes home. Sarah LOVES her niece Kelsey and cannot wait until Kelsey’s new sibling arrives in the spring (me either!). The boys are great with their sisters for sure. Melts this mamma’s heart to see.
Sarah is in the fourth grade again this year. I finally gave in to the idea to keep her back (it took me a while but was for the best…). She has the same awesome teacher Ms. Cooper again which is the main reason I changed my mind. There are only two fourth grades in their school so we made sure they were in different classes. I am sure it would be torture for a teacher if these two were in one class! Sarah continues to receive ESL for one hour a day and gets extra help with reading and math. The math extra help is really for the reading part of math otherwise she is on target for math. The teachers that help her only take her out of the class for a little bit and help her in her class the rest of the time. She has made HUGE progress in school since September. She just had her got her report card and has a 93.7 average so she made the honor roll. She was less than 2 points behind Manon’s 95. Not bad for her first year home and learning English. She really has gained a lot of ground in learning English in the past six months. her English is a little choppy at times but her vocabulary has taken a HUGE jump recently. Her comprehension is really improving too. She is not shy about asking you to explain something to her. She is making friends and seems to fit in well now. She was very shy at first but is coming out of her shell nicely now. Both girls played basketball last winter, soft ball in the spring and soccer, field hockey this fall. They just started basketball again. It took Sarah a bit to get the hang of sports but she has done very well and now enjoys playing. Her endurance has improved a ton since she first came home! They attended a science and arts day camp for the first part of the summer and a church day camp for the second half. They enjoyed both for sure. Sarah loves our boat and is making great progress in learning to swim. I am sure she had never been swimming in China. We are going to get her in swimming lessons soon so I will be more comfortable with her in the water! She is so upset with me for making her wear her life jacket at all times near the water but a mom’s got to do what a mom’s got to do….Both girls learned how to ride their bikes without training wheels together. Manon could never get the hang of it before Sarah but once she had a little competition she was able to ride it just fine. Sarah fell a lot at first but is now riding a bike well. It was obvious Sarah had never ridden a bike in China either. Ron bought the girls a mini bike (dirt bike) in the fall but has promised me NOT to teach them to ride it until they are older. Right now we get to laugh at him when he rides it! Manon is a super tomboy and is turning Sarah into one too….sigh…..makes their daddy happy though!
Thanksgiving was the last of the first holidays for Sarah. I think she is really looking forward to the holidays now that she understands them! It has been a year of learning everything the rest of us take for granted here. She is super excited to celebrate her Gotcha Day on Monday! We dipped fortune cookies in chocolate and sprinkles. She picked out chopsticks for the boys in her class and Chinese fans for the girls. She picked out cute Chinese bracelets for both. She will bring all of these to school on Monday to celebrate with her class. We bought her a Princess add a pearl necklace like we did for Manon and she will get that on Monday. We will buy her a pearl for each holiday so when she is grown up she will have a pearl necklace to remember how much we love her. We will have Chinese for dinner on Monday too. Gotcha Days are bigger then birthdays in our house! I cannot tell you how much Manon enjoys doing these special things on her Gotcha Day. I think the kids in her class enjoy it too! Because of where we live, it is hard to keep them connected to their culture but we try to let them know how important China is in their life and to be proud of where they are from. Sarah is super proud of China and being Chinese so it is so important to her. She is just starting to admit she likes it here in the US…..now that she feels more secure here. It is tough with all the changes in her short life to admit she like it someplace because she never know how long it will last….. This time is FOREVER my little one…..FOREVER. We keep telling her she is stuck with us but who knows how long it will take for her to believe it.
Sarah continues to miss her foster mother BUT the times of sadness and anger over losing her are so much less. She really is bonding well with Ron now which is huge for him! She has struggled over this past year with having parents tell her what to do BUT we are on the up side of that too now.
Health wise she is doing very well. She has gained 14 pounds and grown 4 ½ inches in one year! Eating is going much better but she continues to hate the milk. We have tried everything we can think of and are now using strawberry syrup. She did well with Hershey’s syrup for a while but tired of that too….. Her favorites to eat are baked ziti, pizza, sausage, rice, fresh fruit especially fresh pineapple. Baked Brie is the only cheese she will eat (except for pizza) She has a sweet tooth but does not overdo it.
Sarah loves our church. She is learning about God and his love for her. Tough to get at first but she is really starting to understand it now. She is also learning it is good to help others!
On the brother front Nate and Kirsten were married in July! Kelsey, Sarah and Manon were the flower girls. Kelsey stayed with us while they were on their honeymoon. Very sweet! Nate and Kristen are expecting another baby in the spring and we are all super excited! Nate and Kristen are WONDERFUL parents!
Alex graduated from Law School in May and passed the NY State Bar in November! We are super proud of him! He and Pitsa are doing very well.
Nick and Cintya are living in the city and enjoying the craziness of it all. So not for me but they like it. I would love to see them move our way but we will see. We were able to go see them for Thanksgiving which made us all so happy! Nick is working super hard and we are so proud of him too!
So, as you can see she has come so far in 12 short months and we are all so glad this first year is behind us. Has this last year been easy? No way but it has been so worth it! Adopting an older child is a HUGE leap of faith and they are so deserving of someone taking the leap!

FIVE MONTHS!

WOW, AM I A BAD BLOGGER OR WHAT? Sorry but life, work and these two little blessings are kicking my butt! These last five months have flown by and it amazes me that we are at the five month mark with Sarah being in our family!
So how is she doing? I will start with adopting a ten year old is a lot harder than adopting a 5 year old was but the good news is she/we are making progress every day! Sarah is one tough little girl! She misses her foster mother so much STILL.... She calls her "The grandmother" and has moments where she still cries for her. I will be honest, she blames me for taking her form her foster mother in China. She does not know what her life would have been had she not been adopted. She has NO CLUE what her fate would have been.....She was happy there, loved her foster family and her life there BUT it would not have gone on that way forever, they could not have kept her after she turned 14...BUT WE WILL.... so we are trying are best to understand this for her. She clings to the photos and memories. We are trying hard to help her remember and keep connected. We will be having her write a letter soon to send to the foster family with pictures. I really need to make that a priority in the next few weeks. I have been in contact with the family of another child that was fostered by the same family before Sarah went there that was equally loved by them. So this is good news! It amazes me that there is a women on the other side of the world that loved our girl so much and so well.... I wonder if she is hurting as our Sarah is and I can only guess she is... I pray for her daily and will forever be greatful to her....I pray that another child is now helping her heal and knowing her love....
Manon and Sharh are continuing to grow as sisters. The first few months Manon was so patient and understanding with her but I am happy to report that they are now bonded as real sisters and fight like they are! Sarah makes sure that all is fair in love and war! If she does not think it is, she will let us know (not always a good thing!)! A lot of the time they do get along well but they are driving us CRAZY with their fights! We are trying to teach them ways (and ourselves ways) to deal with their frustration with each other and learning how to be more patient with it ourselves.....We are all a work in progress but I am so happy to be able to say PROGRESS being made!
I do have to say the Manon has been so super at sharing us with Sarah and is truely happy to have a sister from China! She did have a little bit of a tough time in school at first (which we did not notice right away..sigh...) but is right back to being a SUPER student and getting great grades again! May 8th marks four years for our sweet Manon! Because Manon has done so well, we are able to understand that Sarah will also!
It has been a long and TOUGH winter but this Spring promises to bring great things for our family....The girls have both learned to ride bikes in the last two weeks. Ron and the girls have spent a lot of time picking out the "RIGHT" bikes. They were delivered at the end of the week and we are hoping they will be able to ride them tomorrow! I will be sure and post pictures (if my camera cooperates!).
Sarah went swimming for the FIRST time last week! She was so nervous but did fine. She does not like to stand out and insisted on taking the deep end test at the YMCA... They were good with her and let her try. They threw her the tube right away and she spent the rest of the time in the shallow end. She is excited to know with the summer season coming she will have lots of tiem to learn how to swim! We bought her her life jacket today to use on our boat. It should go in the water within the next two weeks! I am super excited to see Sarah and our granddaughter Kelsey experience the boat for the first time! We are so lucky to live where we do! We have a little beach and boat docks on a beautiful little lake. I just wish we had more time to enjoy it....
Sarah is doing so well in school. She gets English as a Second Language for about a hour a day and gets extra help with reading. She has the perfect teacher and it is really showing. Ms. Cooper is so patient and understanding with her! Sarah was resistive to speaking English very much the first few months but did learn it was easier once she could speak Englich. There are days now thast I think "who thought teaching this kiddo English was a good idea?????" She is able to express complex thoughts now which as a ten year old is where she is at. If you tick her off, get out of the way! She lets ya have it full throtal! We are teaching her how to do that in a polite way and give her apporpiate outlets for some of her frustrations... Sometimes I have to bite my tongue really hard though!
Sarah has played basketball and been in cheerleading camp at school. She loved both. She will start softball this week. We just bought their gloves today. Ron will work with her when he can like he does with Manon. I will tell you these two little girls can hit the ball like CRAZY! They both impressed their brother Nate on Easter! Poor Nate had to chase the ball a ton and was the recipitent of a few good hits (sorry Nate, hope it did not hurt too much!).
So I bet you are wondering how much does she weigh now? She started out at 49 pounds and stayed there for a few months in spite of us pushing her like crazy to eat.... BUT two weeks ago she weighed in at 55 pounds! That is just 4 pounds behind Manon! She has grown 1.5 inches too! She did have to have five baby teeth pulled last week and has lost two (boo hoo) pounds in the last week. She had a follow appointment at the dentist yeaterday and all is healing well. The tooth fairy was super nice to her! I think her eating is back to normal now so maybe she will regain those two pounds...She still takes forever to eat but is eating so much better.
Sarah now LOVES our dogs Macy and Molly! She and Manon are so good to them! Our vet might not not agree though because he thinks they are overweight but we think they are well feed/loved! Macy and Molly think it is pretty nice to have TWO treat givers in the house!
Sarah and Manon both LOVE their big brothers! All three boys and their girls are so great to their little sisters! This just does this momma's heart so well! Sarah LOVES her niece Kelsey to pieces! You can tell she has cared for MANY babies in her little life....She is a baby pro for sure! Kelsy knows this too! She really loves her aunt Sarah! Now if we can just get Kelsey to love her grammy a little all will be well! Kelsey is 20 months old now and such a sweet and beautiful little blessing! She has the most amazing parents! I have to say that to see your child be a wonderful parent is something....
Speaking of boys, I am happy to say that all three of my wonderful sons are doing so well. Nick and Cynthia are adjusting to life in NY well but we JUST WISH WE COULD SEE THEM MORE OFTEN...I know Cinthya misses her family in Peru very much and am hoping she can visit them soon! Nick is lucky to have such a wonderful wife!
Alex and Pitsa are coming up on their first anniversary in May! Alex will graduate from Law School in May too! We are so proud of him! Pitsa is such a wonderful wife to our wonderful Alex! We wish we could see them more often too! Nate and Kristen are getting married in mid July! I am super exciterd about this! Manon and Sarah will be in the wedding! Now if I can just get their dresses ordered....Tomorrow's task! We are going to watch Kelsey while they are on their honeymoon! I wonder if Kelsey agrees with this plan....I can not wait to find out! Like Cinthya and Pitsa, Kristen will be a wonderful wife! I love that all three of our guys have been blessed with super girls! I sure wish we could see Nate, Kristen and Kelsey more often too! Kristen will be graduating in May also. I am so impressed that she has been able to be a SUPER stay at home mom to Kelsey WHILE completing her Bachlors degree on line! Kelsey is so nice to let this happen! Congratul;ations Kristen!!!!
So as you have read, Sarah is doing well. She is happy most of the time and when she is not happy, we are comforting her. She is learning to be our daughter and we are learning to be her parents. We are so proud of how brave and trusting she is! As I said earlier, she is one tough little girl but we are teaching her she no longers needs to be a tough cookie! We have our 6 month post placement appointment with our social working in a week. I can't wait for Kate to meet our Sarah and let us know what she thinks.
We are so looking forward to what spring and God has in store for our family! I will try harder to be a better blogger so you can follow along!
Many blesiings,
Brenda, Ron, Manon and Sarah

AND A FEW OF HER NIECE KELSEY!

MORE PICTURES!!

PICTURES!!

pictures?

I am having trouble posting new pictures and will try again soon!
Brenda

ONE MONTH OURS!

December 28th was officially one month since Sarah became a Stevens! Wow, it has gone quick! Tomorrow will be three weeks since we came home. The craziness in our house is ... well... just plain crazy! We are all continuing to adjust. Things are not always easy but they get better everyday and we are doing well.
Sarah has had many changes in her young life in the last month. One of our first stops once we came home was the doctors. What would have been 7-9 shots in China was only 3 shots in the US! Her chest xray was completely normal. What ever was showing up in China must have been from the pollution and smoke..... What did show up was that her bones are not dense like a kids should be. The doctor did some extra blood work and she has a vitamin D deficiency. She is now on Tums and a multivitamin. We did have to push the milk issue sooner than we wanted but is now fine drinking chocolate milk 3 times a day. She did loose one pound at first but has since gained it back. She is getting better at eating but meal time is not one of her happier times. I am happy to report it is getting better recently.
Sarah started fourth grade on the 20th and went for three days before vacation. She received English as a Second Language for half a day each day. Once they return to school she should receive it for 70 minutes a day. We are hoping to hear from her ESL teacher after vacation. I am hoping she has some suggestions that we can work on at home with Sarah. Her understanding of English is coming along quickly BUT her speech is not. Some things she is saying are: "Stop Manon", "Look at me Manon", "No Manon" "Its okay Manon", etc. So, you can see she is talking to Manon but not really us... Ron picked up a Chinese to English dictionary at Alex's suggestion (thanks Alex!) and it is helping. We use it when we need to explain something to her or she is upset and we are trying to find out why. She will occasionally show us something in the dictionary but I am hoping she will use it more soon. We are trying to encourage her to speak more but she will talk when she is ready. She likes to shake her head or use hand motions instead of talking...Bedtime has been another difficult time. She was very tearful at bedtime and would fall asleep crying a few times. These things have been tough on our hearts! We do understand that the only control she has had left in her life is what goes in or out of her mouth and when she opens or closes her eyes. We have tried hard to be patient and understanding and to show her we are safe and love her. The good news is we are seeing lots of progress recently! Last night we had giggles instead of tears at bedtime and mealtime has gone quicker. Ron stayed home with them on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday. That really helped Sarah bond with him. It was a little rough for Ron before that. We knew that with Ron staying home with Manon that this could be an issue so it was not a surprise. She is now giving Daddy a thumbs up!
Sarah and Manon are getting along very well MOST of the time. I am happy to report they are NORMAL sisters and have their moments! Manon has been so patient and understanding with Sarah but has been a little annoyed when her father or brothers pay attention to Sarah!!! They play well together and are LEARNING to share! Since Sarah came home, Manon has been sleeping in her room instead of ours! I am HAPPY to report I have lost my little room mate! They both like their new beds. One night after they fell asleep, we found Manon in Sarah's bed with her. Very sweet! Manon was sleeping with her arm around Sarah.
Sarah is SLOWING warming up to our dogs Macy and Molly. It is a work in progress....
We kept Christmas simple and quiet this year. It was difficult to explain the real reason behind Christmas but that will come. She was very happy with her gifts and keeps track of whose is whose! Alex and Pitsa came home on Thursday and spent most of Friday with us. Nate, Kristen and Kelsey came home Christmas afternoon and spent most of Sunday here. I would say her brothers and their girls are a hit! Nick and Cynthia did not come home due to Nick's work schedule but then due to the snow storm, his work was closed. We were all disappointed we did not get to see them! We are hoping they make it up soon! Sarah did meet them at the airport but just for a short time.
Ron and his sister Dee were able to take the girls to meet him mom yesterday and that was very nice for them. He used the dictionary to show her grandmother so she would understand. She is very shy at first when meeting new people but warms up eventually.
She has only seen my parents on Skype and we are hoping they make it up from Florida in the spring (or sooner!). She did get to meet her uncle John and aunt Peggy at the school concert for a quick minute but was pretty tired and shy that night. We are hoping to get over to their house soon so she can get to know them better. She has yet to meet aunt Heidi and her family or uncle Jeff and his family but we are hoping to see them soon! She did get to see her aunt Pam and cousin Andrew on skype.
Starting December 20th, I have taken on a larger office at work so my work schedule and job are another new adjustment for us. I am hoping to keep it all manageable. It is not the time I would have chosen to do this but not all things are when we plan them! Having my family life and job change at the same time is a challenge but I think it will all work out.... I am so lucky to have such a wonderful and supportive husband/best friend! January 6th will be our ten year anniversary!
The beginning of December was one year since we first saw Sarah's picture and began the journey to make her our daughter. I can not wait to see what 2011 will bring for her and our family. She is a true blessing and worth every minute! We wish you all a safe, happy and blessed new year!
I will update the blog as often as my schedule and family allow!!!! Enjoy the pictures!
Brenda, Ron, MAnon and Sarah